Where have all the people gone?

You know what it’s like when you read a social media post and something about it just gets under your skin? And then you end up over-thinking and getting wound up and you then can’t get to sleep… or maybe that’s just me.

One of the most difficult things about social media is that you end up comparing your lives to those of everyone else on your friends list. Well that is exactly what happened last night, and it led me to thinking about my life a little and in particular, friendship groups. Or lack of, in my case. This is going to be a painfully honest post so please bare with me.

Lately I have noticed how other people have diverse friendship groups. Work friends, mum friends, old school friends, neighbours they are friends with, friends from clubs they belong to. I don’t. Is that normal? Is that seriously abnormal?

I haven’t maintained real friendships with anyone I used to work with. I gave up work in 2008 after my eldest was born and it was only last year that I returned to work….. as a self-employed freelancer that works from home, so I have clients but no work colleagues. Whilst you may have been out getting legless on the works Christmas do I was sat at home drinking tea and eating my way methodically through a tub of Quality Street!

I have several very close “mum friends” that I made as a result of … yep you guessed it, becoming a mum. And I joined an internet group of mums back in 2006 when I became pregnant with my eldest, but we live scattered across the country so regular meet-ups aren’t possible, it’s starting to fall by the wayside as people’s lives move on, and I don’t really feel I fit in with them anymore anyway.

I have a few “old friends” that I am in touch with, two of them who I speak to on a daily basis and I am extremely close to. But we don’t socialise with our neighbours and I don’t belong to any clubs or have any hobbies (except sleep!).

So my question is, am I the only one? Should I be making more effort to get out there and meet new people and socialise? Or is this relatively normal and if it is, damn social media for making me feel like it isn’t?!

Where have all the people gone?


Dee xxx

The Bantams Bedtime Story 

I haven’t done one of these for a little while and I saw this the other day so have decided to share it with you guys…

It really struck a chord with me as in recent months there have been people in my life who have made me feel like utter crap about my physical and spiritual self. If not intentional, then I would like to think someone can be intelligent enough to realise that berating someone else’s choices and highlighting their flaws is not the way that friends behave. 

This was reaffirmed this evening when I was having a whatsapp rant to my bestie who is exactly the same height as me but has a different body shape. I was complaining about my short and dumpy mid-section. For a shorty (I’m 157cms) my legs are pretty long but the space between my boobs and hips is virtually non-existent – and yes before someone cheeky pipes up that is when I’m wearing a bra! 

So anyway I was having a bitch to the bestie and whilst she agreed with me in that way that only your BFF can, she also came straight back with compliments about the bits of my body that I deem better, and offered to help me work out what clothes are gonna work best with my shape. 

Now that is what a friend does!! 

So tonight’s bedtime story is this – surround yourself with people that always bring positivity to help you feel the best that you can. And be that friend back – counter every negative with a compliment. True friends build confidence not destroy it. 

Night folks xoxox 

The Bantam’s Bedtime Story

I had to share this thought for the day as it’s something that’s important for me to remember right now. I count myself lucky to have a family of very good friends who I love dearly. Thank you to each and every one of them, they know who they are. Xxx 

The Bantam’s Bedtime Story

There are people you will encounter in life that need rescuing – whether it be from a situation, another person or even from themselves. Sometimes it will be a situation of their own making, sometimes it won’t.

They are floating in an unsafe sea. You want to help them, to reach out and grab their hand to stop them from being pulled under. Sometimes they only need to reach out for you, and sometimes they just need to kick their legs and paddle their arms and swim to safety. But if they don’t reach for you, don’t accept your help, or refuse to propel themselves forwards then there is nothing you can do for them. You can only float alongside them, keeping them company until they choose to act or until the sea takes them away from you.