The Bantam’s Bedtime Story!!  

I wish I had invented…..

glitter bomb

I read the coolest thing ever in The Guardian this week! There is a company in Australia that ships little bombs of glitter to people!!! To some of you this may well sound like the stupidest thing possible. Why on earth would you want to send glitter to anyone?

The company, obviously markets its product as a revenge tactic, and unless you have had much experience with glitter it can be tricky to understand why. Glitter is supposed to be pretty, shiny, bright, colourful…. oh yes it is all of those things. However it is also possibly the trickiest thing to remove from both your body and your house! Oh yes, I have experience with glitter. Having put two children through nursery school, one of whom is only in Reception at school, glitter is a staple commodity. They put it on cards and decorations. The children, however, also put it all over both themselves and their friends. You do not know the meaning of tricky until you have had to de-glitter your child’s scalp because trust me, washing their hair will do precisely NOTHING to remove those specks of colour. Armed with a nit comb and a pair of tweezers you might stand half a chance, but I have been known to still be finding little squares of golden glitter in their hair up to a week later. Particularly in the case of my daughter who in an effort to emulate Rapunzel has had hair reaching as far as her waist!

There are different styles of glitter too. The squares of glitter can at least be picked up using tweezers. The fine stuff, the stuff that looks like fairy dust, now that glitter is a whole different ball game. It can’t be picked up, and if you attempt to hoover it up, or wip/mop it off it spreads faster than news of a Take That tour. Again I am talking from first hand experience. My daughter turned 8 back in December and she asked for a party at home. She wanted the girls to all have glitter hairspray….. it looked lovely on their hair. Except being airborne it spread to their clothes, and onto their feet – which they then walked all around my house. For nearly a fortnight there was a fine dusting of glitter in the carpets, making it look like Tinkerbell had visited, got rip roaring drunk and been a little too liberal with the pixie dust!

So yes, glitter is possibly the ultimate revenge tool – especially if you send it to a bloke! A woman might be able to pass off the little speckles of glitter that will catch in the light when she moves, but a fella will quite likely have the shit ripped out of him! Apparently the site has been such a success it has currently sold out. I only wish that I had thought of it first. I wonder if they would accept the offer of a franchise??!!!