life ramblings

Why I hate being a parent #1

Today I hate being a parent. In fact, the truth is there are lots of days I hate being a parent and anyone that isn’t full of bullshit will attest to the fact that there are lots of days that the bad parts of parenting outweigh the good. That’s why I have titled this one #1… I fully expect there to be many more to follow.

So why do I hate being a parent today I hear you ask. Simply because, I feel like shit. This morning I woke up with a bit of a sore throat, but generally didn’t feel too bad. And this morning was great, I took the kids and my friends daughter to the cinema. The kids were brilliantly behaved and enjoyed the film. Life was grand.

However since coming home my sore throat has turned into a throat full of razor blades, a painful head full of cotton wool, a stiff neck, aching legs and a desire to curl up on the sofa under a blanket and sleep. However I am mum, and mum is not allowed to be sick.

To be honest I don’t feel like this often. Do you know how I know? Because when I ask my kids to sit quietly this afternoon and either read/play on tech/watch a film, they look at me like I have an alien crawling out of my head. At this point I don’t have the energy to check if I actually have.

I hate being a parent because you aren’t allowed to be ill. Within the last 5 minutes alone I have asked the kids to keep the noise down no less than 14 times. Yes they are sitting down playing together but do they have to shriek like a banshee whilst they are doing it? Invariably one of them will annoy the other and I will have to intervene and stretch my already breaking voice to shout at them to leave eachother the hell alone.

Worse still, I am a self-employed parent, which means I can’t take time off work when I am sick either. I have multiple deadlines to meet within the next few days, and I am currently harnessing the creativity and motivation of a dung beetle.

So that, ladies, gentlemen and fellow owners of small, feral creatures (aka kids), is why I hate being a parent today. hey, at least I’m honest about it!


Where have all the people gone?

You know what it’s like when you read a social media post and something about it just gets under your skin? And then you end up over-thinking and getting wound up and you then can’t get to sleep… or maybe that’s just me.

One of the most difficult things about social media is that you end up comparing your lives to those of everyone else on your friends list. Well that is exactly what happened last night, and it led me to thinking about my life a little and in particular, friendship groups. Or lack of, in my case. This is going to be a painfully honest post so please bare with me.

Lately I have noticed how other people have diverse friendship groups. Work friends, mum friends, old school friends, neighbours they are friends with, friends from clubs they belong to. I don’t. Is that normal? Is that seriously abnormal?

I haven’t maintained real friendships with anyone I used to work with. I gave up work in 2008 after my eldest was born and it was only last year that I returned to work….. as a self-employed freelancer that works from home, so I have clients but no work colleagues. Whilst you may have been out getting legless on the works Christmas do I was sat at home drinking tea and eating my way methodically through a tub of Quality Street!

I have several very close “mum friends” that I made as a result of … yep you guessed it, becoming a mum. And I joined an internet group of mums back in 2006 when I became pregnant with my eldest, but we live scattered across the country so regular meet-ups aren’t possible, it’s starting to fall by the wayside as people’s lives move on, and I don’t really feel I fit in with them anymore anyway.

I have a few “old friends” that I am in touch with, two of them who I speak to on a daily basis and I am extremely close to. But we don’t socialise with our neighbours and I don’t belong to any clubs or have any hobbies (except sleep!).

So my question is, am I the only one? Should I be making more effort to get out there and meet new people and socialise? Or is this relatively normal and if it is, damn social media for making me feel like it isn’t?!

Where have all the people gone?


Dee xxx

I’m Back!

So as you may or may not have noticed, I literally disappeared from the blogosphere in the latter half of 2015. It wasn’t an intentional move on my part, but as it turned out my business really took off and between juggling being a mum, wife and part-time copywriter things all just got a bit manic. I didn’t really have any time to myself at all, and I was far too tired to even think about blogging.

However, it dawned on me over Christmas that I do really miss it. So I am going to make a concerted effort to come back here more often this year. At least once or twice a month. What I write may be utter boring drivel, but at least I will be making a little time for something I enjoy doing!

I hope you all had fantastic Christmases and New years, I can’t actually believe we are the end of January almost!
Dee xxx

The Bantam’s Bedtime Story

There are people you will encounter in life that need rescuing – whether it be from a situation, another person or even from themselves. Sometimes it will be a situation of their own making, sometimes it won’t.

They are floating in an unsafe sea. You want to help them, to reach out and grab their hand to stop them from being pulled under. Sometimes they only need to reach out for you, and sometimes they just need to kick their legs and paddle their arms and swim to safety. But if they don’t reach for you, don’t accept your help, or refuse to propel themselves forwards then there is nothing you can do for them. You can only float alongside them, keeping them company until they choose to act or until the sea takes them away from you.